Thursday, November 23, 2006

Dear Diary,

As I was laying in my bed the other night I started to think, what would happen if I were to die tonight as I lie here?

Would my friends know I cared?

Would they know that I loved them with all my heart?

Would they know that those nights we sat in the dark just talking... have meant so much to me?

Do they know all those time we laughed until we cried.... were some of the best moments of my life?

Do they really know that I hold a special place for them in my heart?

That I smile whenever I see their picture hanging on my mirror?

Do they really know? How much longer DO I have?

So I guess tonight is just a good a time as any... because you never know...this MAY be the last time I will ever talk to you because we all do not know what tomorrow holds....

So.....

If tomorrow, I should never wake up
I wanted to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for what I have done ....
And what I haven't done.
I could have done more
I should have done more
If I harmed u,
yelled at u,
ignored u,
or didn't care....
I'm sorry.
Forgive me, please?


If tomorrow
I should never wake up
I wanted to say thank u.

If me and u were the best of friends,
Thank u for always being here.
There were times when I thought I could never leave u
And if we HAVE parted...
Thank you for teaching me to love and let go.
Thank you for teaching me that it doesnt matter if we never see each other.
Because you taught me love can move past that.
And if we are still best friends...
Know I treasure that too.
I love you.

If me and you only talked once in a while
And didn't go to the same parties,
And were not good friends:
Thank you for not humbling me,
Or tearing me down.
I only wish I had taken the chance to love you more.

If you were someone I once had a crush on
I always did admire how you treated people...
How you lived your life.
I watched the way you walked down the halls everyday.
I admired how you always seemed to know the RIGHT thing to say,
Even if it was never directed to me.
I always saw the sun in your smile.
And the sea through your eyes.
Thank you for making me believe ...
That there MIGHT be someone PERFECT for me...
Even if it isn't you ~ Know that I even thought I loved you.

If you and I were once friends...
Even if for a little bit...
Thank you for teaching me about understanding,
And growing up,
Teaching me how to move on.
Thank you for the times we had together...
And I beg you forgive me for whatever happened
That tore us apart.

You are not perfect,
I am not either.
But thank you for having a part in my life.

If tomorrow,
I should never wake up,
I wanted to say everything I never had time to.

blackRose signed off Thursday, November 23, 2006